Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Aggy, we hardly knew ye
I've been trying to start a feud with Christina Aguilera for a year or two now. Part of me wants to challenge her to a battle of the bands. Part of me wants to keep taking veiled pock shots at her (and American Idol) through IJG song titles, liner notes, and live concert interludes. For whatever reason, she hasn't taken the bait.
My motivation here goes back to an incident in the history of the IJG in which a certain motherfucker trombonist (who shall remain unnamed) bailed on some crap-ass gig of ours in order to play with the barely legal ex-mouseketeer. It became a sort of in-joke (in my own head, anyway) to tease said trombonist about his decision, based on the premise that his talent was out of all proportion with the ex-mouseketeer gig. It was a sort of backhanded compliment; he was, the joke stipulated, much better (musically speaking) than that.
Though I continue to milk the joke (because, well, I find it funny), I completely understand the mechanics of the decision to take an Aguilera gig over an IJG one. Not only is there beaucoup bread in the former, but most of the cats I play with have this sort of perverse obsession with the little blonde diva, as if she's actually hot or something.
Whatever. In all seriousness, I do think she can sing. To paraphrase something Zappa once said about John McLaughlin: one would have to be a moron not to recognize her talent. She's just not terribly interesting. I personally think she should do a "girl group" album, introducing a new generation to the Ronettes and the Crystals, et al. Instead, she decided to do this.