Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Back to the Womb

I like to think I'm a pretty open-minded fella, less repressed than most, and tolerant to a fault. I really had to work on my BS detector when I moved to "the big city" ten years ago, 'cause I was inclined to trust everyone.

Maybe that particular instrument is a little too finely-tuned at this point, 'cause I think the "Cuddle Parties" trend is a huge crock of shit. They should call 'em "Crock o' Shit Parties."

Look: I'm all for alternative therapies. Frequently laid low by chronic back pain, I can strongly attest to the benefits of both massage and yoga. (Sheee-yit, if I could afford it, I'd get a massage every day.) Also, I should point out that the underlying philosophy of the cuddle-gurus is sound: touch and intimacy are crucial to health. That's a no-brainer (literally). I'll go further: there's nothing wrong with a group grope, if that's what you're into, and as long as you call it what it is.

But something about the cuddle-ideology is disingenuous. When it comes down to it, we humans are really good at acting like children (usually of the spoiled variety). Who needs a workshop? We're much better at giving in to our infantile desires (for good and ill) than we are at, say, voting rationally, or coming up with thoughtful, compassionate solutions to problems like homelessness.

Grow up, America. Your inner child is in the White House.

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